12 Comments
User's avatar
Stanley Stocker's avatar

Rebecca, this mystery is made for the Heavyweight podcast. https://gimletmedia.com/shows/heavyweight You should ask Jonathan Goldstein to get on the case. He and his team will crack this kiddie case wide open.

Expand full comment
Whitney Cornell's avatar

#6 adjacent: "not a creature was stirring..." but the kid's a mouse in a mousehole (ala Tom and Jerry) and you can only see the eyes ("not stirring").

Expand full comment
Nina Simon's avatar

This might be the first time a Substack sent me into giggling fits. I have no new theories to add. But I have deep gratitude to you for yours (and to that kid for spawning joy decades later).

Expand full comment
Heather Gram's avatar

My first thought was a rock like from The Great Pumpkin. Then I realized it’s the wrong holiday. So I vote for lump of coal.

Expand full comment
Leslie Doyle's avatar

So some of the kids look like they are being elves. Could that one be a "sack of toys" they have filled? I'm just spitballing here.

Expand full comment
Mark Olmsted's avatar

I don't know, but didn't he grow up to start the Black-Eyed Peas? (I know, should be white-eyed, according to this pic, and peas aren't black, but you took all the really funny answers.)

Gun to the head, I vote lump of coal.

Expand full comment
Anne's avatar

Lump of coal!

Expand full comment
Sharon Crowley's avatar

Lump of coal. Definitely.

Expand full comment
Evan Cooper's avatar

I dunno but that kid's name was definitely Jason and I'm pretty sure the girl whose hand you're holding is either Jennifer or Michelle.

Expand full comment
Susanne Pari's avatar

That's a boy who doesn't want to be seen holding hands with a group of girls. That boy went on to invent the poop emoji.

Expand full comment
Amy Brown's avatar

Hilarious! thanks for the laughs today, Rebecca.

Expand full comment
Rosemary Porto's avatar

You were such a cutie and a kind one holding the hand of a kid who is clearly misrepresented.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Expand full comment